By SGT. GEN. Chiappa Remington Wesson Jr., Tier One Operator
IMPORTANT BULLETIN: According to reliable INSIDE GS-15 RANKED SOURCES embedded in the UNITED STATES MARINE CORPS, children NATIONWIDE are being PAID OFF to become lackeys for THE DEEP STATE DEMON RAT Party’s RADICAL LEFTIST agenda. After recent DESPICABLE acts of TERROR from BOTHERING Sen. Mitch McConnell at a restaurant to VIOLENTLY karate chopping White House interns, what sort of INSIDIOUS tactics to promote ANTI-AMERICAN ideals have they taken this time?
Frankly, my own son won’t tell me, but INSIDERS allege that these paid agitators are being propositioned to IGNORE YOU during THANKSGIVING DINNER, possibly ELSEWHERE. What would compel them to be complicit actors in such a VILE scheme? That motive is beyond us, but I believe that it would clearly be no fault of our own. As ESTEEMED PUBLIC INTELLECTUALS such as Benjamin Shapiro and David Rubin have attested, these SNOWFLAKE SOY BOY NPC MILLENIALS are simply too UNGRATEFUL to recognize your own brave diversity OF THOUGHT.
It’s TOTALLY not because you ALIENATE them with your skewed reactionary worldviews. I’m not racist, but calling YOU racist? What’s racist about generalizing an entire group of people who arbitrarily look DIFFERENT from you and projecting your own insecurities and moral failings onto them? The REGRESSIVE left is simply too fixated on IDENTITtY PoLiTICS that they cease to recognize the REAL, salient THREAT of covert 8 YEAR OLD MS-13 OPERATIVES infiltrating our sacred arbitrary lines! OUR ancestors LEGALLY emigrated to these pristine STOLEN lands, so why can’t they? All they have to undergo are years of arduous citizenship testing, income inequality, the prospect of having a few automatic rifles pointed at their heads AND a few children thrown into cages, but NO. That’s not enough handouts and freedoms for these ENTITLED SELFISH CRETINS.
But those aren’t here nor there, because I’m not racist. Absolutely not. I haven’t got around to asking him much in seven years, but just ask my friend Steve. He’s One Of The Good Ones™, because the omnipresent issue at hand is the budding INTOLERANCE amongst our children. It is an utter anomaly, as only a LOW-T BETA would cower from facing your unsolicited NUANCED opinions about the cretinous FOOTBALL MEN, why every terrorist attack is a bigger ongoing stage production than Shakespeare’s Globe Theatre, and why MORE children need to be thrown in cages. You’re not bigoted. You’re not insecure. You’re not suffocating any and all introspection in a cloudy haze of opiates and benzodiazepines. You don’t need to see a therapist for your lifelong burgeoning psychological trauma. You aren’t a reactionary, short-tempered, verbally abusive lout who calls your kin SHEEPLE and politely requests your spouse to shut the fuck up, no. Why the hell don’t they correct you about that anyway? Why the hell be the parent 24/7 when THEY can pull up their bootstraps and tell YOU what’s wrong?
If you read my CREDIBLE newsletter, you can rest assured that you are a DECENT, RED-BLOODED AMERICAN man who simply wants what’s best for his kin, AND the pure-blooded grandkin you are duly owed. You merely believe in traditional values, our loving God’s coherent plan for receded hairlines or agonizing herniated disks, and the inalienable right to question things that don’t make sense over a cold Pabst on the couch. Remember, if you’re children question the credibility of the BRAVE alternative YouTube journalists you follow, how that vague camera flash inconclusively proves a REPTILIAN FALSE FLAG, how Seth Rogen’s “Paul” is actually a stoner biopic declassifying THE GREYS, how that building angle fall inconclusively proves CONTROLLED DEMOLITION, or why you’re so obsessed with blaming every single personal grievance on the F̴̀͞͞͏͚͙͇͖̥̭̻̲͉̺͍̻͈͓̻̮ͅEDERAL RESERVE (not racist), that’s the REAL intolerance right there.
So, if they subvert your ways and cease to keep an OPEN MIND to your brave FREE MARKETPLACE OF IDEAS this Thanksgiving, double down. Be MORE patriotic. Do MORE research and YouTube education on your arguments. CONTINUE to remain perplexed and baffled over why your children haven’t heard your side in years. DO NOT let your children fall toward the slimy tendrils of the BUSHES, CLINTONS, OBAMAS, ROTHSCHILDS, SOROS, AND THE NEW WORLD ORDER BOOGEYMAN AGENDA. TO PARAPHRASE OUR GLORIOUS COMMANDER IN CHIEF, DONALD JOHN TRUMP, WE MUST NOT SURRENDER TO THE FALSE SONG OF AWKWARD SILENCE!
USE CODE “MEDIUM” FOR 67% OFF OUR ALPHA TURBO EAGLE ENHANCEMENT SUPPLEMENTS. IT’S A FUCKING PAIN LUGGING AROUND YOUR STAINLESS STEEL .600 NITRO EXPRESS REVOLVER TO COMPENSATE AT THE DINNER TABLE, BUT NOW YOU WON’T HAVE TO! NOW MAYBE MY FUCKING SON WILL SPEAK TO ME AGAIN. NOW MAYBE THE SUBVERSIVE GLOBALIST AGENTS WON’T BASTE MY TURKEYS WITH LIQUIDATED CHEMTRAILS, OR BUG MY AIR VENTS WITH REMOTE VIEWING DEVICES. WHY WON’T MY FUCKING SON FUCKING OPEN UP TO ME ANYMORE. I STILL LOVE YOU WINSTON BERETTA. DON’T BELIEVE THE MAINSTREAM MEDIA, OR YOUR BARREN HARLOT MOTHER’S FUCKING MENOPAUSAL LIES. FUCKING SHIT FUCKING FLUORIDATED FUCKING WATER. GOD DAMN IT.
Ever since I was a kid I was a massive Spiderman fan. It all started with my obsession with the Sam Raimi Spiderman films three years old. Ever since then I have read every comic, watched every TV show, and every movie he has ever been in. The Spiderman I grew up with had the secret identity of Peter Parker and that was the Spiderman I grew to love. Then the first issue with Miles Morales came out and when I read it, it seemed like the same character. The only difference I could find was that they had different ethnic backgrounds. They both were extremely smart, grew up modestly, and were prone to making corny jokes. Because of this I decided to stick with Peter Parker because Miles Morales seemed a bit derivative.
Because I am such a huge fan of Spiderman I decided to dress as him for New York Comic Con and Halloween. After notifying my mother she seemed confused and said, “are you sure you do not want to dress as Miles Morales?” I got mad at her and replied, “seriously mom?! I thought you knew Peter Parker is my one and only spiderman!” and she answered, “Ok sweetie I’m glad you feel comfortable doing that.” whatever the fuck that’s suppose to mean.
When I went to Comic Con I had an amazing time, I kept my mask on the whole time and people loved my cosplay, making peter parker references as they took pictures with me. Then the Halloween party this past weekend wasn’t so great.
There was a lot of food at the party so I couldn’t wear my mask, I figured the costume still worked without it. It was during the party things got frustrating Everyone kept coming up to me and shouting, “what’s up Miles!!!” or “hey dude, is Peter a good mentor?” and I would laugh and tell them “well actually, I’m Parker, Haha!!” Then they would look at me and say “oh…um… cool costume” and walk away seeming disappointed. What was I missing? My costume had all the right colors. And everytime I bring it up to my friends they try to change the subject. Why does this keep happening?
By Sam I am not
The first twenty years of my life have been a lie. To appease the whites, I have been forced to avoid the cringe-worthy conversations and change my name, which actually is Shyamasundaram Thiruvanallam, to simply, Sam. Like what the hell do you think of my parents? You think that a pure-bred Indian couple would actually name a kid Sam? No. I was born and raised in India for fuck’s sake. Always remember this, if an Indian ever gives you an Anglicized name and that small voice inside your head questions whether or not that really is his/her name, there is a 99.9% chance that your voice is right. Of course he/she is lying.
In a world where coming out as gay has become an everyday phenomenon, I am starting a new movement: #MeTooPart2. If you have been a victim of whitewashing, this movement is for you. I would really appreciate the support and now would like to be called Shyamasundaram.
If my name fazes you in any way, remember how easily triggered people get these days. No matter how hard you try to properly pronounce my name, you will be the victim for mispronouncing it. I have been the victim for twenty years, #enoughisenough. If any of you would like to donate to my cause I will be accepting donations email@example.com.