by Harry Nuttsaac
Right off the bat, I would like to clarify that this article is not fictional or satirical in any way, it is entirely true and still fucking hilarious. The Medium posted on Reddit to r/rutgers early Tuesday afternoon to request help with a buoyancy textbook problem (check the A7 page to learn more) when, all of a sudden, in swoops none other than massive prick and professional douche canoe Dr. Joseph Guadagni, aka Dr. G, aka Midtek. For those who are unfamiliar with him, last semester (you know, during a global pandemic) he created a Chegg account to give students fake answers to an actual test of his. While he claims he was just catching kids who would’ve cheated anyway, we believe this kinda counts as luring students into cheating.
On our Reddit post (where we ask if God is responsible for buoyancy force and we need an answer in 30 minutes), Dr. G wrote “We don’t do your homework for you here. Especially not questions where you don’t show us your work and just declare ‘HELP ME PLEASE DUE IN 30 MINUTES.’ This is also an exam question.” Despite how stupid this fucking response is, he does apparently have an actual doctorate. Guess he never had any classes on satire.
One Redditor decided to take the high road and calmly explain that this is from The Medium and that we are “mocking students who do such things,” (he’d be wrong, we genuinely needed to know). We, however, decided to be a little cruder than that: “Wow, Dr. G just fucking lives to be a prick on Reddit, huh.” Any normal person would admit their mistake and try to avoid talking about it more. Not Dr. G, no, this guy just wants to be an asshole. Dr. G came back with “Yes, my comment fucked several lives. That’s how I sustain myself. Put that in your next article.” I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty sure professors aren’t allowed to enjoy fucking over students, but I might be wrong. Honestly, I have no clue how this comment doesn’t get a professor fired, but we’ll see. Oops, I accidentally dropped this link to a petition to have him removed, clumsy me: https://www.change.org/p/robert-barchi-have-dr-joseph-guadagni-removed-or-censored?signed=true.
The Medium 