By Heywood Jablomi
God I wish that was me
We here at the Medium were lucky enough to get an interview with Mrs. Jade Wright-Crimson, who recently returned from her honeymoon with her wife Angel. Angel and Jade met through a mutual sugar daddy, who unfortunately passed away over the summer.
Medium: Nice to have you here, Jade. We understand you and your wife had the same sugar daddy?
Jade: Yes! We were both seniors in college at the time, she was actually at Rutgers, and wanted to get started on getting rid of our frankly disgusting amount of debt. Both of us happened to get in contact with Richard Stokes, he was in his seventies but he was loaded. We never actually ended up meeting him in real life, it was mostly pictures and chats. He could never figure out video chats, poor guy. Anyway, sometimes he liked, uh, ‘playing with’ both of us at once, and one night after he went to sleep we decided to chat for a while.
M: How long have you been together?
J: Almost six years. We were long distance for a bit at first, but then we told Rich that if we were together we could send him group pictures. He ended up paying for my entire move!
M: That’s very generous of him.
J: He was a horny old bastard, but he appreciated there were more important things in life than money.
M: Can you tell us a little bit about Mr. Stokes?
J: He was kind of a lonely guy. Hardworking businessman, made a lot of money, but didn’t have a lot of friends at work. No family, never married. He was nice, though, in a pervy sort of way. I’ll miss him.
M: I understand he left the two of you a little something?
J: Not just a little! He basically paid for our wedding, our honeymoon, and we’ve got a good start on buying a new house! If we have a son, I think we’ll name him Richie.
M: Sounds like a nice way to honor his memory. Do you think you’ll find another sugar daddy?
J: I don’t think so, but I wouldn’t close myself to the idea. We had some very good times.