Everyone has their own special method to give thanks to Zorko, Emperor of Darkness and collector of lost souls. But which Pixar sidekick best describes YOUR undying devotion to our one true master?
1. Which delicious treat would you provide as tribute to His Three Hounds of Destruction?
a. T-bone steak
c. Rib eye steak
d. Apple pie
2. What part of the day do you prefer to carve the Puppeteer’s symbol on your tongue, so that you can always taste the path of righteousness?
3. How would you describe your feelings as you slowly, yet meticulously, peel back the layer of skin on a nonbeliever?
4. How many of your children have you disassociated with due to lack of devotion to the Church?
d. All of them
5. How would you describe your perfect date?
a. A walk on the beach, followed by a moonlit blood sacrifice
b. A trip to the museum to take back the black magic manuscript
c. A movie date to see “Zorko: The Divine Truth”
d. Mass suicide
if you answered mostly a’s: congrats, you’re a Rex! You can be shy at times, but when it comes to devotion to our true lord, you’re a social “dinosaur!”
if you answered mostly b’s: congrats, you’re a Mater! You like meeting new people and trying new experiences, but aren’t afraid to mutilate your own body to prove your faith!
if you answered mostly c’s: congrats, you’re a Dug! You’re loyal to friends and family, and love life to the fullest. You can also make a real mean shepherd’s pie from the organs of politicians who refuse to accept our church as a real religion.
if you answered mostly d’s: congrats, you’re a Frozone! Dude’s pretty sick.