BY Latin Mama
Corona: You are most likely a bro who’s been to Cancun on spring break more times than you’ve been to class. Also, the only Sublime song you know is “Santeria,” and you really just know the chorus and mumble the rest of the words in the drunken stupor which has become your sad life. You also without a doubt have a rockin’ dad bod which is coveted by all the bitchez.
Appletini: You like Scrubs and don’t fail to mention this every time you order this fancy drank. As you should, Brown Bear ;).
Vodka Cran: You’ve given up on trying to live up to your parents’ standards a loooong time ago. You are also most likely are a girl who says “like” so often that people start to fixate on this irritating habit, unbeknownst to, like, you.
Buttery Nipple: Yes, this is the name of a popular shot! You have a healthy sense of humor and are a biiit immature. Let’s be real: you only ordered it so that you could say “buttery nipple” out loud, and kudos for that. How many times in life can you actually say “buttery nipple” aloud and have it be socially acceptable (**besides during food fetish foreplay**)? Not often enough, that is for damn sure.
Keystone Light/Natty Ice: Isn’t it past your bedtime? Are you even old enough to be reading this paper? (**See age disclaimer on Page 1)
Everclear: This potent substance, composed of Chuck Norris’ tears mixed with the souls of 1,000 Gingers, proves that you are no amateur. You are a god amongst us peasants. We are unworthy of your presence. God bless your weeping liver and loved ones.
Straightedge/Don’t drink: You have a good head on your shoulders and are by far the sanest of the bunch. You get to maintain your integrity, and take videos of your friends making complete asshats of themselves! Win-win in my book.
The Medium 