Third Reich-Inspired Attire Invades NY Fashion Week

BY Paulie Valentine                                                                                                                                          Maxxinisto

NEW YORK, NY—Starting with an oversized viridian artillery summer tunic paired with charcoal jackboots at the BCBGMAXAZRIA show on the Thursday, the fashion revival of the notorious Axis power of Nazi Germany arose to full force. The fashion lines of Demoo Parkchoonmoo, Tadashi Shoji, and Nichole Miller on Friday, Rebecca Minkoff, Taoray Wang on Saturday, and most designers on Sunday through Tuesday (including icon Tommy Hilfiger and a very enthusiastic Vera Wang) all showed mid-Twentieth Century German influences ranging from the SS to the Einsatzgruppen.

“I’m fucking shocked,” said a speechless Diane von Fürstenberg. “It’s definitely something.”

Super-designer Vera Wang’s Bahnschutzpolizei-inspired wedding dress, fitted with a brocade belt and eagle belt buckle, was a standout in her already vivacious collection. According to sources inside Vogue, Anna Wintour hailed that dress the item of the season, even with two days left of shows.

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“This trend is spreading like gas,” said designer Mary-Kate Olsen, “I’m dead about it.”
With eleven shows left, most buzz is around Michael Kors, whose show Wednesday morning promises a lot of bold militaristic attire. He was seen wearing a NSDAP Ortsgruppe visor hat during the Leanne Marshall show, to which Rachel Zoe remarked, “It was terrifying.”

“It’s all about being Anti,” said designer Marc Jacobs, remarking on this growing trend. The expression of prejudice in a more overt way is a direct result of post-Obama “cool racism,” adopted by many celebrities, and leads right to fascism.

CHART OF THE WEEK: PIE CHART OF COUNTRIES

Volume XLVIII Issue VII

This week, I found this pie chart on Google, and doesn’t it look nice. I’m not quite sure what it means but it looks nice and that’s all that matters. I’m sure you could use this pie chart on your next group project and be able to get a B+. Who doesn’t want a B+?

And it has some nice countries on it, too. The United States is on there. So is Germany and France! Which means you can use it for a history project. Maybe this chart describes something in World War II, or World War I, or maybe something about the economy in the world today. Who knows? It’s up to you. All you need to thank me for is that it looks really nice. It has nice bright warm colors, which are appealing to the eye. Imagine if there was dark green or dark yellow? Eww. Well there you have it, you’re all set for your next history or math project, or whatever this chart is for.