Tag Archives: Chuck E Cheese

News, Volume LIII Issue VIII

BARRON TRUMP HAS CHUCK E. CHEESE BIRTHDAY, COSTS TAXPAYERS $23 MILLION

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BY Caillou
Loves Children’s Parties

Last Saturday, President Donald Trump’s son Barron Trump held his annual birthday party at his favorite restaurant Chuck E Cheese. Early this morning, it was released that the modest birthday party for the now 11-year-old son of the president cost tax payers $2.3 million, sources report.

Barron had been looking forward to this party for over six months now, as he was finally granted permission from the First Lady Melania Trump to host his party at CEC. “Yeah, I invited all of my friends, and I’m really excited,” stated a visibly cheery Barron Trump, oblivious to the enormous financial burden his birthday will place on the American public.

“Every year I ask for a Chuck E [Cheese] party, and I’m really happy they finally said ‘yes.’”
An anonymous financial advisor to the White House helped break down the costs of the party for us. “Barron requested the ‘Mega Super Star’ party package. At $26.99 a child, and with 28 children attending, that’s $755.72 right off the bat. Then, two value deals were purchased for the adults, and a salad for the First Lady, which was an additional $77.97. Additionally, cost of secret service protection for the president’s family, as well as protected transportation for all party goers, plus blocking off city traffic within a one mile radius from the party cost the taxpayers approximately $2.29 million.”

Although Barron’s birthday is on March 20, the party was pushed back to Saturday, as it’s a more conventional day to have a party, and would ideally be less of a nuisance for commuters trying to get to work. The party lasted for three hours, averaging a little under $29 thousand dollars a second. Party guest Devin Mullen Jr, 12, said it was either the second or third best party he’s ever gone to.

In a poll conducted on our site, 41% of voters thought the cost was too large, 35% thought Barron deserved the party, and 24% were unsure how they felt.

Barron claimed the party a success, stating he got a new Nintendo Switch, Minecraft merchandise, Nerf guns, a lava lamp, and various gift cards. In total, his gifts are valued at $652, an infinitesimal amount compared to the cost of the party. Barron also managed to take a picture with the Chuck E Cheese mascot, and will soon be displayed in the Smithsonian Institution, as well as the White House.