Volume XLVIII Issue IV
BY RANDY BUTTERNUBS: ARTS EDITOR
Hey guys! Today I’m reviewing the new Super Smash Bros for the – wait this isn’t a video game. Okay, fine. Jeez, you people got seriously pissed at me for doing one video game review. Have it your way.
So this time I decided to review The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. I just have to say, Benjamin Button is one of the most boring, emotionless characters I have ever seen. Well, they gave him the nickname Bella in this movie, which I thought was weird at first, but shit, I’ll roll with. So, it looks like this movie was about how Ben or Bella or whatever had a serious boner for this androgynous-looking chick who was named Edward for some reason. You know what, points go to this movie for breaking gender stereotypes for giving the female lead a guy’s name.
Anyway, Edwardina is a vampire or something and Ben wants her to blow him—I mean…suck him off—I mean…suck his blood so he can be interesting and a vampire, too.
You know what, I can’t do it anymore. This movie is boring! I don’t care if some dude got his head ripped off! BEN IS SO FUCKING BORING! If you see this movie, I recommend getting a lobotomy to forget what you just saw.
The Medium 