Tag Archives: wontons

Adam Silver Paid Lifetime Supply of Wontons to Side with China

Shanghai – The National Basketball Association has become embroiled in an international dispute after Houston Rockets’ GM Daryl Morey tweeted in support of Hong Kong and its protestors. The NBA has built an indelible relationship with China, as a recent statistic pointed out that 500 million Chinese fans watched at least one basketball game last season. China, known for its rich history, it’s amazing food, and the occasional ethnic cleansing of Muslim and other minority populations, was offended by Morey’s tweet. As a result, NBA Commissioner, and overall cue ball, Adam Silver, publicly sent out a statement that the NBA values its relationship with the Chinese citizens (and their very much suffering factions). Understandably, many players and coaches are being held accountable as a result of poor administrative dealings. 


During the preseason, Adam Silver had a tense meeting with many NBA players, most notably Lebron James. During the meeting, Silver was quoted as being, “a UChicago lawyer mofu**a”. To qualm players’ fears, Silver promised to personally talk to dictator, I mean, President Xi regarding the situation. However, the Medium team has received some insider information regarding Adam Silver’s comments. Apparently, given Adam Silver looks like an emaciated Benjamin Button, a local wonton joint, Hangzhou Xiao, promised the commissioner a lifetime supply of wontons for him and his family. The owner of the restaurant happily agreed to the terms and conditions only after a man dressed up in a Yao Ming jersey threatened to make wontons out of his family. With much of the media comparing Silver to yet another Chinese pawn, Silver made yet another public appearance, this time looking more robotic and sounding like a man from the Orient. He said, “China is great. It make me money. It make me happy”.  


Hong Kong has been ensnared in a series of protests for the past couple of months. With hundreds of people harmed and possibly killed, the protests seem to only pick up steam. Hey, at least one man got his fair share of wontons just for a couple million people to lose their loved ones.