By Bill O’Leary
Yeah. That’s right, you read that right, white people need to die. I don’t mean every single one of them. But I do believe we—yeah that’s right, I’m a whitey too—need to shed some blood. Every time I see the headline, “Man shot by police,” I hope that the victim is a white male. It’s only fair. We deserve it. Each time, I open up my laptop and click on the news links to see if I’m going to see the face of a white bastard, deserving of a bullet, and instead it’s always some poor, black kid, who was wearing a hoodie, or walking down the street with skittles. It’s just so unjust that only minorities are shot by police and I believe that maybe the best way to get over the racial divide in this country is to allow for the score to be evened. I firmly believe whitey has to spill some blood to make that happen, only then will our country be united. I offer to be first.