Tag Archives: racist

ALERT PATRIOTS: THE DEEP STATE IS PAYING YOUR CHILDREN TO AVOID YOU THIS THANKSGIVING (NOT A DRILL)

By SGT. GEN. Chiappa Remington Wesson Jr., Tier One Operator

 

IMPORTANT BULLETIN: According to reliable INSIDE GS-15 RANKED SOURCES embedded in the UNITED STATES MARINE CORPS, children NATIONWIDE are being PAID OFF to become lackeys for THE DEEP STATE DEMON RAT Party’s RADICAL LEFTIST agenda. After recent DESPICABLE acts of TERROR from BOTHERING Sen. Mitch McConnell at a restaurant to VIOLENTLY karate chopping White House interns, what sort of INSIDIOUS tactics to promote ANTI-AMERICAN ideals have they taken this time?

 

Frankly, my own son won’t tell me, but INSIDERS allege that these paid agitators are being propositioned to IGNORE YOU during THANKSGIVING DINNER, possibly ELSEWHERE. What would compel them to be complicit actors in such a VILE scheme? That motive is beyond us, but I believe that it would clearly be no fault of our own. As ESTEEMED PUBLIC INTELLECTUALS such as Benjamin Shapiro and David Rubin have attested, these SNOWFLAKE SOY BOY NPC MILLENIALS are simply too UNGRATEFUL to recognize your own brave diversity OF THOUGHT.

 

It’s TOTALLY not because you ALIENATE them with your skewed reactionary worldviews. I’m not racist, but calling YOU racist? What’s racist about generalizing an entire group of people who arbitrarily look DIFFERENT from you and projecting your own insecurities and moral failings onto them? The REGRESSIVE left is simply too fixated on IDENTITtY PoLiTICS that they cease to recognize the REAL, salient THREAT of covert 8 YEAR OLD MS-13 OPERATIVES infiltrating our sacred arbitrary lines! OUR ancestors LEGALLY emigrated to these pristine STOLEN lands, so why can’t they? All they have to undergo are years of arduous citizenship testing, income inequality, the prospect of having a few automatic rifles pointed at their heads AND a few children thrown into cages, but NO. That’s not enough handouts and freedoms for these ENTITLED SELFISH CRETINS.

 

But those aren’t here nor there, because I’m not racist. Absolutely not. I haven’t got around to asking him much in seven years, but just ask my friend Steve. He’s One Of The Good Ones, because the omnipresent issue at hand is the budding INTOLERANCE amongst our children. It is an utter anomaly, as only a LOW-T BETA would cower from facing your unsolicited NUANCED opinions about the cretinous FOOTBALL MEN, why every terrorist attack is a bigger ongoing stage production than Shakespeare’s Globe Theatre, and why MORE children need to be thrown in cages. You’re not bigoted. You’re not insecure. You’re not suffocating any and all introspection in a cloudy haze of opiates and benzodiazepines. You don’t need to see a therapist for your lifelong burgeoning psychological trauma. You aren’t a reactionary, short-tempered, verbally abusive lout who calls your kin SHEEPLE and politely requests your spouse to shut the fuck up, no. Why the hell don’t they correct you about that anyway? Why the hell be the parent 24/7 when THEY can pull up their bootstraps and tell YOU what’s wrong?

 

If you read my CREDIBLE newsletter, you can rest assured that you are a DECENT, RED-BLOODED AMERICAN man who simply wants what’s best for his kin, AND the pure-blooded grandkin you are duly owed. You merely believe in traditional values, our loving God’s coherent plan for receded hairlines or agonizing herniated disks, and the inalienable right to question things that don’t make sense over a cold Pabst on the couch. Remember, if you’re children question the credibility of the BRAVE alternative YouTube journalists you follow, how that vague camera flash inconclusively proves a REPTILIAN FALSE FLAG, how Seth Rogen’s “Paul is actually a stoner biopic declassifying THE GREYS, how that building angle fall inconclusively proves CONTROLLED DEMOLITION, or why you’re so obsessed with blaming every single personal grievance on the F̴̀͞͞͏͚͙͇͖̥̭̻̲͉̺͍̻͈͓̻̮ͅEDERAL RESERVE (not racist), that’s the REAL intolerance right there.

 

So, if they subvert your ways and cease to keep an OPEN MIND to your brave FREE MARKETPLACE OF IDEAS this Thanksgiving, double down. Be MORE patriotic. Do MORE research and YouTube education on your arguments. CONTINUE to remain perplexed and baffled over why your children haven’t heard your side in years. DO NOT let your children fall toward the slimy tendrils of the BUSHES, CLINTONS, OBAMAS, ROTHSCHILDS, SOROS, AND THE NEW WORLD ORDER BOOGEYMAN AGENDA. TO PARAPHRASE OUR GLORIOUS COMMANDER IN CHIEF, DONALD JOHN TRUMP, WE MUST NOT SURRENDER TO THE FALSE SONG OF AWKWARD SILENCE!

 

USE CODE “MEDIUM” FOR 67% OFF OUR ALPHA TURBO EAGLE ENHANCEMENT SUPPLEMENTS. IT’S A FUCKING PAIN LUGGING AROUND YOUR STAINLESS STEEL .600 NITRO EXPRESS REVOLVER TO COMPENSATE AT THE DINNER TABLE, BUT NOW YOU WON’T HAVE TO! NOW MAYBE MY FUCKING SON WILL SPEAK TO ME AGAIN. NOW MAYBE THE SUBVERSIVE GLOBALIST AGENTS WON’T BASTE MY TURKEYS WITH LIQUIDATED CHEMTRAILS, OR BUG MY AIR VENTS WITH REMOTE VIEWING DEVICES. WHY WON’T MY FUCKING SON FUCKING OPEN UP TO ME ANYMORE. I STILL LOVE YOU WINSTON BERETTA. DON’T BELIEVE THE MAINSTREAM MEDIA, OR YOUR BARREN HARLOT MOTHER’S FUCKING MENOPAUSAL LIES. FUCKING SHIT FUCKING FLUORIDATED FUCKING WATER. GOD DAMN IT.

Leaked Concession Speeches

Hillary Clintonclinton.png

My fellow Americans, I would like to preface this speech with a heartfelt congratulations to the Republican nominee and *take deep breath Hillary, you can do this* winner of the 2016 Presidential Election, Donald J. *stands for jerk* Trump. I, of course, will concede the victory to him, and this in no way has affected my ambition to help this country to my best ability. I will continue to wo- GOD DAMN IT GOD FUCKING DAMN IT YOU PEOPLE ARE SUCH MORONS! ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS NOT VOTE FOR DONALD TRUMP AND WHAT DO YOU GO AND DO? THAT! HOW COULD YOU FUCKING DO THIS TO ME AGAIN AMERICA?! ALL I WANTED WAS TO BE IN THE WHITE HOUSE AS SOMETHING OTHER THAN A SMOKING HOT BITCHIN’ FIRST LADY BUT NOOOOOOOO, YOU GOTTA ELECT THE ONLY MAN IN THE COUNTRY THAT IS ACTUALLY DOWNGRADING HIS LIFESTYLE TO LIVE THERE? DO YOU THINK HE’S GONNA PAY TAXES ON THAT SHIT? THE GUY WON’T EVEN SPEND MONEY ON A DECENT TOUPEE. MY HAIR WOULD BE THE GREATEST HAIR A LEADER HAS HAD SINCE YOUNG STALIN! AM I TELLING IT LIKE IT IS YET, AMERICA? FUCK IT, I’M MOVING TO NORTH KOREA, I’LL SEND YOU ALL AN EMAIL WHEN I GET THERE, HOPE I DON’T DELETE IT FIRST.


trump.pngDonald Trump

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed, by their Creator, with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Folks, it is bad. It is sooo bad. Let me tell you. This country, and this is a tremendous country by the way, is going to bad places, people. I’ve had thousands of people come up to me since yesterday, and they say, “Donald, how could you let crooked Hillary Clinton steal this election from you, you should really do something about that nasty woman.” Let me tell you, if this election was not RIGGED, this country would have elected the correct candidate, let me tell you, I am the right president *wait for hordes of people to stop applauding and chanting your beautiful name*. Now folks, I know that all of you are upset, and believe me, I am so upset, you have never met anyone more upset than me, but I can also back down like a man, and I am a man, big league. That is why I want you people to go out there and keep this thing going, we are still in this people. I am NOT saying that we should march on Washington, but let me just say, there was a guy that did that a long time ago in the 60’s, and people loved that remember? I’m not saying I’m Martin Luther King, but the blacks do love me, folks. But I will say people, the Second Amendment people could take care of Hillary, if you know what I mean. Folks, let me tell you, I am DEFINITELY NOT saying that we should make our own America, even though it would be way better than the America that Hillary is going to turn this one into, because let’s face it people, if I left the country, none of the good people would be left here to stop Hillary. People, no matter what the lying media tells you, I am the real president.

Marco Rubio Says “Fuck It”; Will Now Attack Indians

BY Dr. Tossed Salad
Anus Enthusiast

Rubio's Lucky Break. Marco Rubio announces his niche bigotry for the Republican race.
Rubio’s Lucky Break.
Marco Rubio announces his niche bigotry for the Republican race.

WASHINGTON D.C.— During a private fundraiser this weekend, Republican Congressman Marco Rubio (Fla.) was finally legitimatized himself as a Presidential hopeful by spinning the “Wheel of Ridicule,” spinning “Indians” as the race he will soon be marginalizing. A trusting family man from Florida with a Cuban ancestry, Rubio is not prone to racial outbursts, but declared “I won’t let those frontrunning Republicans get ahead of me!” And with such a statement, the GOP allowed him to enter their secret underground sanctuary to spin the wheel.

After the successful Jeb Bush attack on African Americans, the Ben Carson attack on Muslims and Jews, and Donald Trump declaring all Mexicans rapists, Rubio was left with Asians, Puerto Ricans and the throwback Irish as the remaining cultures free on the political hit list. But alas, the wheel landed on the face of a confused Indian man, just missing the sullen face of Kim Jung Un and “Lucky” the leprechaun.

Indians were quickly defined as all taxi drivers, 7-Eleven owners, and Dunkin’ Donuts employees by the GOP thinktank. Rubio has the options of claiming they are the cause for outsourcing jobs and taking the place of white children at public universities. “There are just so many choices: poor drivers, curry, incomprehensible language skills, hairy arms, and more curry. How can I choose what to do first?” anxiously considered Rubio as his mouth watered with the thought of some media publicity. At press time, Rubio is rehearsing for the hidden recording of him saying, “I hate those curry-dotted assholes,” before having to quickly recall his statement as “misunderstood and out of context.”