By Zachary Fox
I know, I know, Batman’s beautiful schmeckle appeared in the Batman: Damned’s first issue which came out months ago, but when I first found out his godly stick of power graced the pages of the comic book I wasn’t ready, I needed to do more research. I needed to feel it in my heart and when that day would come I would be ready. People tried to show it to me, but I refused to see it, not till it was time.
My research started where all comic book readers start when it comes to looking at superhero genitalia, with one of the greatest comic book cocks of all time, Dr. Manhattan. Because Dr. Manhattan is basically a god he no longer feels the insecurities that come along with nudity so his thick schlub graces the pages of Watchmen frequently. I spent hours staring at multiple images of Dr. Manhattan’s penis and months of other superhero digletts including the small glimpses of Deadpools schlong in 2016’s Deadpool film.
It was March 2nd and I was finally ready. Sadly there were limited versions of the uncensored version of Batman: Damned issue #1 and I had to pay $300, but by God it was worth it. As I flipped through the pages that unforgettable saturday night, I grew more and more excited for the image to grace my eyes. It was once I reached page 30 that I realized I was witnessing something that I could never have possibly dreamed of. If I told my 8 year old self he would one day get to see Batman’s mightiest weapon he’d never believe me. I stared at that page for about 15 hours and tears ran down my face the entire time. I don’t recall blinking, just the image that has enlightened me and changed my life forever.