PISCATAWAY — After a solid postseason run, the New York Yankees have decided to cut the Rutgers vs. Maryland game from its schedule of events to improve their image.
The Scarlet Knights were set to face Maryland at Yankees stadium on Saturday, November 4th, but both teams have had their invite rescinded in order to preserve the Yankees’ image.
In a press release the Yankees stated, “We regret to inform the public that the Rutgers vs. Maryland Football game will be canceled. We want to take the energy from this postseason and run with it. Allowing Rutgers to play at the stadium, against Maryland of all teams, would tarnish the groundwork we’ve set this season.”
The Rutgers Football program is shocked that the Yankees have decided to cut ties this way. After winning two consecutive conference games and not getting blown out by Michigan, fans were ecstatic to see their teams play at Yankee Stadium.
“We understand why they wouldn’t want to associate with Maryland. Nobody wants that, but we’re practically their backyard,” said University President Robert Barchi. “Our business program has been loading Wall Street with douchebags for years. They can’t even throw us a bone?”
Not everybody is torn up about the decision though. Freshman lineman Norman Suggs was quoted saying, “Thank god we don’t have to go all the way to the city to lose. I get car sick.”
When questioned about their decision, the Yankees responded with vague answers and beat around the bush when it came to logistics. However, one message was clear:
They were glad to have canceled this event.
“Yeah, we’re trying to be associated with winning over here,” said a Yankees representative who preferred to remain nameless.
Tune in to a sketchy stream from a Russian website to watch the Scarlet Knights and the Terps face off, because there’s no way this makes it to TV.