BY Grind All
Doing White People Things
NEW BRUNSWICK-Freshman Nick Corey has reportedly told friends his Halloween plans include taking a bus from the quads on Livingston to College Ave around 11 p.m. Sources close to Corey say that the freshman is confident he will be able to easily get to the College Ave campus in about 10 minutes, a sad understatement.
When asked why he believes he’ll be able to do this Corey responded “why wouldn’t I?” a statement which completely confirms his total disillusionment.
“I know getting on a LX sucks during the day but this is at night so it’s gotta be different,” said Corey. “Also Rutgers is awesome about always having a bus available so I’m sure they will put out more buses on Halloween,” a statement which also shows his complete disillusionment of how Rutgers actually works.
Those close to him have tried to tell him the reality of the situation but apparently it has fallen on deaf ears.
“I keep trying to tell him! He’s just won’t listen,” said roommate Ryan Kennedy. “Poor guy actually thinks he’ll be able to get on a bus! He has no idea what he’s in for.”
Kennedy has also confirmed that Corey will be dressed as “one night stand” quite literally. Corey plans on wearing a cardboard box complete with a lamp shade balancing on top of his head.
“I know it’s a rather large costume,” said Corey. “But I’m sure there will be space on the bus to fit it all.”