Tag Archives: happiness

IHOP Mocks My Sorrows With Their Faux Happiness

BY Fui Von Wiwiifui

Yesterday afternoon, I walked my wretched being down to our rustic old IHOP, looking only to drown my consciousness in viscous molasses of various colors and essences. However, upon arrival at the establishment, my gloom transformed into contempt as they try to shove their family-friendly, corporate, faux happiness down my tired throat.

I ordered their Create-A-Face Pancake to fashion my feelings of despair onto the canvas of a buttermilk pancake. However, they mistook my order, I suspect deliberately, and served me a Funny Face Pancake, the quintessence of mock euphoria; the edible personification of a barely legal porn star just trying to pay off debts.

Afterwards, I ordered their free stack of pancakes, hoping to forget the mistakes IHOP and I have made in the past. One bite put an end to that misconception. I broke down into tears, the porous flapjacks absorbing my tears with ease. The wait staff attempted to console my shattered soul, but nothing can mend me now. The only thing I could do was leave, never to look back at the ruins I have left in my wake.

7/10. Free pancakes are still free.

ASK A LONELY TRAVEL CUP

Dear Lonely Travel Cup,

I know I should still be motivated. I should still have that deep desire, that exponential drive in the morning to wake up, start my day and be productive. But, I just can’t seem to wake up in the morning anymore. I have lost that pep in my step, the swag in my stride, the ambition of waking up right before my alarm goes off to go and plunge into the deep ravine of an unpredicting world. The aspiration of goal setting, of deciding that today is the day I will finally work on the eternal objective of happiness and fulfillment. Please Lonely Travel Cup, how can I find the motivation to once again escape the warm embrace, the utopia of tranquillity and coziness my blankets, pillows, candles and room create for me?

Sincerely,
Comfort Under My Comforter


Dear Comfort,

lonely travel mug picture.jpgThere was once a time when I as well had a purpose in life, the conviction to accomplish my one true meaning, keeping drinks warm. But alas, lately there too is a lack of passion in the expectations for my one true self. My personal milieu of keeping your Guatemala Casi Cielo snug inside my chamber, your Cameroon Mt. Oku blend toasty to true perfection for hours on end has all be abandoned. No, nothing. There is nothingness in this life of sorrow and destain, of unquantifiable wonder of what life is truly and authentically about.

Remembering when I was purchased, a present for the one who fills the holes in your life. My sleek and slender frame wrapped with powerful silver insulation. It was almost perfection imagining where I would soon be off too. Morning train rides into the office before relaxing on the way home with some deeply steeped black tea. Or perhaps a vacation to the Baltic islands of Sweden, where warmth could, but rather, would be needed at a moment’s notice. And then, then it started, and it was ravishing to the fullest extent. For two weeks I was constantly filled, not just with delectable beverages but with the lust for what we like to think of as the “why” of life. It was an all time Shangri-La, an escape to an unsuspecting paradise. But now, now I go unused, alone, cold and forgotten. My advice: stay in bed, remember the good times and next time you have a beautiful memory, make it last as long as possible.

Sincerely Yours,
L.T. Cup