POINT/COUNTERPOINT

I’m Making Gains

BY Rambo Gio

It’s been a month now, and I swear these muscles are just getting bigger and bigger now. Like look at these guns, they even now start to bulge and stretch out my shirts. And I know you can’t see my abs right now, but I swear they are growing in. If I took off my shirt right now, I swear that all girls in the room would begin to fawn over me, and all these bros would immediately hit the gym to work on getting these same gains. Hell, I can even feel my jeans now sticking to my thighs like a second layer of skin, that’s how big they are getting. From a measly 125 pounds to a good 150 pounds now, I am able to get these gains in just a month and I am going to continue to with them and achieve insane Brolic-levels.

No, You’re Just a Fucking Fat Ass

BY Rambo Gio’s Body

Alright, just fucking quit talking because you’re literally killing me right now. The only gains you have been making is in the fat percentage. Those twenty-five pounds you gained? Just pure human blubber. In fact I think whatever small amount of muscles you had prior to you starting to work out has just transformed into more fat. The only reason you can’t fit in your clothes anymore is because you have gained several inches of flab around your entire body. And if you took off your shirt, people would actually hurl and there would have to be a mass evacuation in this room. How does anyone even healthfully gain twenty-five pounds in a month? How can you be so daft? And you definitely aren’t headed towards becoming like Broly, at best you would become Yajirobe or Mr. Popo.

Quit thinking you have been making any gains and give me a break. An entire pizza, two hamburgers, and a mega-sized Slurpee doesn’t count as a post workout meal if you eat that same shit every night. Do you know how much your asshole cries every time you start eating? Get it through your fat-fuckhead and realize that your anus literally cannot take this abuse anymore.

I am Asian, but cannot stand Fat Asian Babies.

BY HIPSTER J

I don’t understand why, the Chinese Malaysians love to feed their babies so much that the babies grow so fat with so many layers of meat on their arms and cheeks look like buttcheeks and the little mouth looks like an anus. It looks obviously overweight and disgusting. I know we all like ass, but don’t make your baby look like a giant walking-crawling-pooping ass monster.

Every time I see one of these monstrosities, I will always sit there and wait for it to get a stroke and seizure themselves all the way to the hospital. I waited because I want to yell at the parents for horrible parenting by overfeeding their little monster. And every time in the end I always get disappointed. They just won’t get seizures, which pisses me off. They obviously look so fat that they will die anytime soon.