By Ivan Yakinoff
BRISTOL, CN—As Black History Month is halfway complete, Stephen A. Smith, the furious outspoken host of ESPN’s First Take and as well as the main expert on all black athlete’s issues, has announced that will be running as a Democratic nominee for the 2020 Presidential elections.
Smith made the sudden announcement on the show while yelling at the top of his lungs. While he and Max Kellerman were talking about wether the black athletes who compete in the Winter Olympics were blacker than Russell Wilson, Smith, just feeling touched by the seriousness of the topic, announced that he will be leaving First Take to engage in more serious conversations.
Although he left the crowd stunned in silence and just wondering what these serious conversations were, in classic ear bleeding Stephen A. Smith style, he announced his plans to run for president.
While many believe his decision to run for president is so he can fight for the issues facing minorities today, many sources close to him say his real reason is to just give have another outlet to run his mouth. “If Stephen tells you his decision to run was based out of fighting injustice, it’s truly just a load of bullshit. He really doesn’t care about that. His mouth is just an attention whore and he just wants to run it more on national TV.” said an anonymous friend of his.
“Stephen’s mouth has a mind of his own. Ever since Skip Bayless left, it’s fallen into a wormhole of depression and it’s believed that the only cure is a diarrhea of the mouth death fight with Donald Trump.” said Momma Smith.
When confronted, Stephen went on a big rant and denied everything. Listening to him rambling on for a hour straight, though we tried our best, the Medium could not get any quotes from him as we all went deaf listening to him. We’ll get back to you after our ENT visit.