By Sue De Nimm
Head of the Danny Fan-tom
NEW BRUNSWICK— Following the success of the first one, Rutgers has unveiled a brand new pile of horse shit smack dab in the middle of the Cook/Douglass campus. Last semester, students discovered the first pile on College Farm Road, and they were pretty thrilled.
“I was on my way to class when my nose caught some unfamiliar, yet welcoming stench. I looked down and I saw what appeared to be a giant pile of horse feces. Needless to say, I was quite amazed.” said junior Laura Tabor. The pile was put there by the Rutgers department of animal sciences as a public art display.
“We wanted to create a piece of work that would both represent our department and our university, as well as something that’s a pleasure on the eyes,” said head of the project Barbara Newport. “I got the idea when the police horse I was riding, King Charles IX, laid a big one right there next to the sidewalk. I just saw it and thought, ‘Wow, now that’s a beauty.’ So I just pitched it to the animal science people.” “Rutgers has always been an institution that prides itself on its appreciation and cultivation of the arts, and this was a way to bring that love of all things artistic and beautiful and bring it out of the museums and onto the streets,” said Newport. “This way, students can walk by that steaming pile of shit every day on their way to class and appreciate the finer things in life.” This past week, the group surprised us all with their newest installment, right by the Lipman Hall bus stop.
“I came off the bus, and I remember feeling pretty glum that day. Then I feel something mushy on the soles of my brand new suede Birkenstocks, and I see the brand new pile of horse shit! It definitely made my day,” said sophomore Jason Nguyen. Hopefully the 2018 Summer vacation will give the horses time to bulk up, eat some fiber, and gift us with a brand new display for next semester.
NEW BRUNSWICK — In a world where society is constantly berated with social media posts dripping with sentimentality, ads designed to stir up deep-seated memories, and people just looking to create a meaningful connection with another human, there is one man who refuses to move his backpack.
David Michaels, an 18-year-old freshman at Rutgers University, has taken a stance against the overly personal culture we live in and places his backpack on the seat adjacent to him, preventing students from ever getting close to him. “It’s a protest of sorts,” David said as he pulled up the Fight Club soundtrack on his iPhone 7. “I just need to go against society’s concepts of ‘kindness’ and ‘decency’ and ‘awareness,’ and create this sort of art out of the frustration of innocent Rutgers students.”
And it’s undeniable that David is incredibly skilled at his art form. We got to watch a performance of his, and he was just stellar. When he gets on a bus, he heads straight to the back, often shoving smaller students to the side, and throws his backpack on the seat closest to the window before gracefully landing on the aisle seat. His technique was incredible, but his true brilliance shines through in his interactions with others. When asked to move, he’ll often spectacularly dodge the request by pretending to listen to Martin Shkreli’s “This Week in Investing” podcast. This often leaves the other feeling cold, helpless, and shunned.
Though sometimes, a student will be bold enough to persevere and even tap David on the shoulder. However, no student can rival David’s resolve; and as he stares down these foolish students, with eyes tired from living a million lives, and a stare colder than darkness, the students always resort to standing.
There are millions of artists each year who try, yet fail, to make art so interwoven in the human condition. However, such awareness of the world can leave one isolated, and as David once again keeps the world a backpack’s length away to fully enjoy his lukewarm almond milk, one must ask themselves, simply; at what cost?
BY Dick Toner