Local Dipshit Thinks He Can Get a Table Without Reservation On Valentine’s Day

By Single by Choice

“I DIDN’T REALIZE THERE WAS GOING TO BE THIS MANY PEOPLE”

The war-cry echoed throughout the lobby of Steakhouse 85 as Local Dipshit lost his proverbial shit. The Host in charge was not ready to face the ire of the idiotic Dipshit. What followed was a rampage of epic proportions- punches flew, curses spit out, blood splattered, girlfriend’s eyes rolled. The altercation drew the attention of the patrons of the establishment, all finding the crimson blood really adding to the Valentine’s Day vibe.

By the time RUPD arrived, Dipshit lost his edge and fainted from the dying blood rush. Dipshit’s girlfriend was there to explain the situation to Medium correspondent, Liu ‘Kang’ phur-louvre.

“Ugh, I had been asking Dipshit for ages what he has planned for Valentines Day. Each time he assured me he had it figured out, all the while having his eyes glued to the latest Joe Rogan podcast. It was only from Rogan’s latest Veal-Meal insta post- one that featured a heart shaped bicep- that he realized he forgot to get a reservation. Then he rushes me here and… well you can see what happened,” explained Madam Dipshit.

Steakhouse 85 quickly cleaned up the mess and kicked the dipshit to the curb. Valentines Day commenced as usual, until another Dipshit tried to get in without a reservation.

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