Parents Will not be Convinced Their Daughter is Bisexual

By Heywood Jablomi
Bipolar Bigender Bisexual (not really)

Scranton, PA- Rutgers sophomore Brianna Dalton is “dreading” going home for Thanksgiving this weekend, knowing full well she’ll be facing endless questioning and skepticism from her loving parents about her alleged bisexuality. Brianna has already let her parents know she’s currently dating a boy, and as far as they’re concerned, that makes her straight as an arrow, despite her long, committed relationship with a girl throughout her junior and senior year of high school.

“It’s just exhausting,” Brianna said in her interview with the medium. “We do this every year. I told them I was bi when I started dating Lauren in high school, but they immediately assumed I just didn’t want to be gay so I was lying. Now they think that whole relationship was just ‘experimenting’ and I’m actually straight. I just want to go home and eat Thanksgiving food and talk to my parents, not defend myself for the entire weekend.”

Regardless of the mental taxation, Brianna still plans to go home instead of trying to crash with a friend, because deep down she loves them and she’s sure they love her too. We here at Rutgers will be rooting for her, and hoping her parents won’t stress her out too much before finals.

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