Hello my children! It’s your favorite post-smoking, doobie-hitting, blunt-rolling, bowl-packing grandma, Gertrude. My grandson Jeff and I were blowing thick clouds the other day and I noticed he was reading something on his phone, so I asked what he was reading. He said he was looking at AMAs, and I asked what that was. He explained what they are and realized that I should do one, given that I’m one of the coolest, hippest (even though I broke my hip recently), chillest grandmas ever. So I thought I’d give it a shot. I’ll tell you a little about me, then feel free to AMA. I’ve been grinding nugs since I was 14. I was the town’s busiest dealer by the time I was 16 and soon dropped out of high school. I was the kingpin of my medium-sized town in New Jersey (not saying which because you better believe I’m still the number one dealer!) One of my producers even named a strain after me, “Gertrude’s Good Shit”. And let me tell you, that shit is good. I still smoke it to this day, alleviating my back pain and getting me high as fuck. I know my practice is illegal but hopefully New Jersey will legalize it soon and I’d be more than happy to open a regulated, taxed dispensary. I’m thinking of calling it “Grandma’s Dope Shop” or maybe “Grandma Gertrude’s Great Ganja”. That’d be great. So anyway, now I’ll leave it to you. What do you want to know about me? Also, check out this picture of me at my birthday last year lighting up a joint that had a blend of Gertrude’s Good Shit and Alaskan Thunder Fuck with the cake’s birthday candles. Dope af right?