Top 10 Side Effects You Don’t Want to See on Your Medication Label

By Elon Thrust

1) Will likely cause diarrhea. Like a lot of diarrhea. Like an obscene amount of diarrhea. You’re probably gonna be like “Oh my God there’s so much diarrhea, maybe I should go back to the doctor.” But you shouldn’t, it’s just this medication.

2) May cause you to become a Republican. In rare cases, a Trump supporter. If you already are, you may need different medication.

3) May cause you to see every other person with a butt for a face. As long as no one sneezes it shouldn’t be too weird.

4) May turn you into a werewolf. If you start seeing excessive hair growth or a general evil feeling while looking at the moon, see a doctor immediately.

5) Will shrink your dick or boobs, depending on your sex.

6) Will give you aggressive cancer.

7) Will give you a very strong urge to watch very bad movies and television shows. Be sure to have The Room, Suicide Squad, and the Big Bang Theory ready by your bedside.

8) Will turn your skin green. At least you can convince your friends you’re training to become a full time lizard.

9) Will suck the life out of you, but don’t pretend that this hasn’t happened already.

10) You think that other medication gave you diarrhea? You ain’t seen nothing yet. This is a whole new level of diarrhea. An almost inconceiveable amount of diarrhea. A life-altering amount of diarrhea. The ULTIMATE diarrhea.

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