Rutgers to Give Every Bus Driver a Gun

By Jordan Plaut
News Editor

Following the mass shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas in Parkland, Florida a month ago, many institutions have begun increasing their security, and Rutgers has decided to take preemptive measures by granting every bus driver a gun.

“We believe that in these drastic times, drastic measures must be taken,” said Rutgers President Robert Barchi. “We, as the board of trustees, came to this difficult decision together, and we feel it is the proper course of action to ensure the safety of our students, first and foremost.” According to the official email that was released to the students, every Rutgers bus driver will now be given a law enforcement standard Glock 19 that they must keep on their person in their vest at all times. In addition, drives must attend three one-hour gun handling and safety courses.

“This is a controversial topic, but I think that this is the right move for the University,” said senior Kayla Robinson, “I know that now when I take the LX at 1:30 AM, I can feel safe knowing that my driver has the capacity to take control of a dangerous situation.”

Plenty of student have expressed their praises and concerns for this new rule.

“I think I speak for everyone when I say that we’ve all been in that situation on the bus where people keep pushing you, or someone refuses to move their bag from the seat next to them, and you just know that these things wouldn’t be happening if the driver had a firearm on him locked and loaded,” said sophomore Ozzy Mendez. “Plus, popping a couple shots in the air every once in a while could be
a great way for them to relieve stress as well as make it clear to everyone who’s the fucking boss on this here automobile”

The email has also been met with plenty of backlash. Many students have already expressed their concern with the potential consequences that this ruling could lead to. “My only worry is that these driver are going to get the taste of sweet, sweet power on their succulent lips and will only crave more. Their insatiable lust will only grow and grow until it either consumes them or us. I mean, we’ve handled that kind of situation in the past, but it’s not like it’s something we want to relive” said junior Al Trite. The policy is part
of a complete overhaul of the Rutgers security system in general, which is now formally being called the “Keep the Youth Safe” Program, or KYS.

Other clauses of this program include giving the dining staff sharper tongs to deter unruly students who cut the line for takeout, and instituting a mandatory student bedtime of 9:30 PM.

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