Breaking: Tillerson Out As Secretary of State Following Trump Nightmare

WASHINGTON — Rex Tillerson is out as Secretary of State following a bad dream President Trump had late last night. Sources say Trump dreamed that Mr. Tillerson was a scary T-Rex chasing him around the South Lawn and through the Rose Garden of the White House before eating him, forcing Trump to wake up and scream, “Ahhhhhhh, you’re fired.” Trump then reportedly made the official decision to let Tillerson go, and consulted his stuffed penguin, Mr. Waddles, to help him get back to sleep.