In today’s tumultuous economy, more musicians than ever are saving money by foregoing the man’s traditional instruments. DIY instruments are on their way back in a big way, and America’s seminal jug band is the next big thing of bands, trust me. If one of these sounds like you, get practicing. What will you do when the jug comes?
No jug band without a jug. Without a jug, your group becomes officially known as a “spasm band” which is cool I guess but probably not what you were going for originally. To uphold the jug you must be of strong will and conviction. You know how to take charge and get a rhythm going. You’re the face and neck of your jug band and better be prepared to lead with charisma. The volume of the jug you choose is critical, you only get one jug.
Something you probably have lying around anyway. Washboardists are like the wacky one in the band and provide a really important tinny aspect to every performance. You could really to whatever you want with this instrument because its just like a piece of metal, but you’re the type to step up to that challenge and make the best of it. Tap on it, scrub on it, use it as a little personal roof, and above all, stay positive, stay individual.
Some would argue you invented American folk music. Many would say you need to get a little more self-aware and realize that your delightful contributions to country and bluegrass is rooted in one of many incidents of blatant cultural appropriation that shaped the American culture we know today. Appropriated or not, your sound is essential and you are both the star-crossed heart and deep-seated guilt of this organization.
Fake Kazoo (Tissue Paper and Comb)
You’re an individual. A true maverick. But you already knew that. You make things as well as music, as any renaissance-person must. This is just the way you exist. Innovative. You hardly even exist anymore, you just innovate, create, demonstrate, relate, abdicate, chelate, oscillate, transmigrate, palpate, and elucidate.
What a classic. Classy and understated is your M.O. Like dark gray and navy, and kazoos, you are perennially a touch of class, a sophisticated staple of any outfit. Keep on doing you, babe; even though you might seem a little overdone, square, or even basic to the untrained eye, you’re obviously a catch.
If you have two spoons to spare this is the instrument for you. You have impeccable rhythm and a percussive personality that can’t be put into words, like a rousing spoons solo on the spoons. You’ll always be able to eat soup with both hands so that’s pretty nice. A lot of people tend to underappreciate you, but the humble spoonsist doesn’t mind. Practice modesty and wow them with your heaping spoonfuls of melodies.