College Recipe Guide: Ordering Out

Step 1: Receive your paycheck via direct deposit.
Step 2: Think you have a lot more money than you actually do.
Step 3: Open whatever ordering app you have on your phone.
Step 4: Take the next 45 minutes to browse the vast selection of restaurants they have to order from.
Step 5: Choose a restaurant that you’ve never eaten at to order from.
Step 6: Add something that looks tasty to your cart.
Step 7: Immediately second guess your decision and order from the same place you always do.
Step 8: Order two additional items to the one you actually wanted to hit
the delivery minimum.
Step 9: Pay the additional six dollars in delivery fees.
Step 10: Wait for 45 minutes for your food to arrive.
Step 11: Run outside barefoot and in your pj’s to get your food.
Step 12: Don’t skimp on the tip, dicks.

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