College Recipe Guide: Valentine’s Day Feast

Step 1: Line up 3 shot glasses on the kitchen counter.
Step 2: Fill shot glasses with Vodka (substitute with grain alcohol if desired).
Step 3: Take shots using no chaser because nothing can hurt you more today than your crushing loneliness.
Step 4: Boil two cups pasta of your choice.
Step 5: Strain and add sauce.
Step 6: Realize that you’ve cooked too much pasta for one.
Step 7: Realize that the perfect solution to this problem is having
someone to share a meal with.
Step 8: Repeat steps 1 through 3.
Step 9: Sign up for eHarmony.
Step 10: Find someone to get dinner with on Saturday.
Step 11: Be the fourth victim in a string of mysterious killings carried out by a stranger you met online.

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