College Recipe Guide: Scrambled Eggs

Step 1: Crack eggs into small bowl.
Step 2: Turn stove heat on too high, and forget to grease the pan.
Step 3: Whisk together eggs and add spices to taste.
Step 4: Pour mixture into pan and listen to it make that noise when it cooks really fast. You know the one. It’s like a cchhheeeaaasshhhh.
Step 5: Scramble them shits around with a fork, scratching up the pan.
Step 6: Dump eggs on plate, making sure to scrape all the crispy stuff up too, and run pan under cold water as fast as you can so it makes that noise again and gets all steamy.
Step 7: Burn your hand on the pan.
Step 8: Garnish eggs with ketchup.
Step 9: Eat those eggs (you can pick out the little bits of shell if you desire a smoother breakfast experience.)

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