By Walter Cronkite JR.
Doesn’t Know What to do With his Hands
PISCATAWAY.— Junior computer science major Amanda Friedman pointlessly fell in love with her Philosophy 101 teaching assistant after the class ended. Friedman stupidly approached her TA, Ben Wilder, at a bar two weeks after the class ended, and then carelessly
started a relationship with him even though she could no longer take advantage of their relationship for a high grade in class.
“I totally fucked this up,” said Friedman, 21, who just passed philosophy with a 71 percent. “I was supposed to fuck him for an A in the class, not build a lasting relationship with him like a month later that satisfies both of us physically and emotionally.” Friedman, who took philosophy to satisfy a writing requirement, has been dating Wilder, 24, without an ulterior motive since the end of December.