BY Radio Raheem
Butt Pun Enthusiast
NEW BRUNSWICK— In an unfortunate slip-up, Rutgers Student Involvement accidentally printed “Butgers Day” on every single T-shirt for the massive event this weekend. This is a massive PR nightmare for Rutgers, who will no doubt have to scramble to try to fix this enormous mistake before Saturday.
“We’re well and truly fucked here,” says President Barchi. Ideally, Rutgers would just order new shirts with the correct logo. However, because half of the annual budget was spent on the misprinted shirts, ordering the same amount of shirts again would cut the rest of the budget. There would be no athletics, no theatre performances, scientific research, or money for student clubs.
A student representative declined to comment on the exact amount that was spent but implied that it was well over $500,000 since they splurged on shirts made of Mexican alpaca hair.
Student Involvement is looking into changing the annual event to Butgers Day to accommodate for the eye-wateringly asinine amount of money they spent on these shirts.