Rutgers Buses Ranked by Odor

BY Sue DeNimm
Now Has Hole in Face

1) LX- Basically first place by default, this sleek and stylish vehicle is fairly scent free. The student passengers seem to have a good handle on basic human hygiene, and sometimes the business students even have some nice perfume/cologne that they wear to classes. Finally, being the shortest and most restaurant dense route, the overall ride is very bearable. 6/10

2) B- One of the quickest rides Rutgers has to offer, the long and efficient B does a decent job at distributing what could be a conglomeration of pungent horror to a slight bitter stinge to the nostrils. 4.5/10

3) A/H- High potential but failed realization, this bus could have a light and airy aroma to it, but the long commute and less than olfactory-friendly engineering students drag it down. 4/10

4) New Brunsquick- This bus? has the luxury of having zero participants and thus a complete lack of anything including personality and smell. This bus will never amount to anything and is loved by no one. 3/10

5) F- a pretty fitting name for everyone’s only reaction to having to take this bus, this vehicle fashions itself as express, but it don’t feel like it. If you manage to catch the last one back home, you tend to just pass out from the stress of trying to get back home. Heaven save you if you are awake on this hell ride. 2/10

6) REXL/REXB- As the longest route in the school, this bus stinks. If you’re lucky enough to snag a seat on this expidition to the realm of south bumblefuck, New Brunswick, you may avoid contributing to the smell, but you will absolutely get a big ol’ whiff of the guy standing ass-in-face for 30 min. 1/10

7) EE- The obvious choice for the bottom of this list, this last resort in 20th century transportation will leave you in tears. If you don’t leave this bus gasping for air, counting the seconds you can bear until your grip on this mortal coil gives out, count yourself lucky. This bus has nothing to offer but despair and turmoil, and I pray that there is an almighty being outside this universe so that there is someone to answer for this monstrosity. -1/10


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