Outta the Box
BELLEFONTE, PA—Jeffrey S. Sandusky, the adoptive son of infamous Jerry “Big Papa” Sandusky, was arrested after allegations of sexual abuse of minors arose. Jeffrey Sandusky, lovingly called “Horse Vomit” by colleagues, is now being held at $200,000 bail, coincidentally at the same prison where his father is currently serving his life sentence. A joint shanking is being prepared for the two to celebrate in the occasion.
While it is a shame that Jeffrey ended up being horrible sub-human garbage like his father, the corrections officers are looking to make an event out of the reunion of the two Sanduskys. Warden Michael Mathers said that family meeting up in prison is “not an uncommon event around here, we get cousins and brothers joining up all the time. Sometimes it’s for the same crime.”This case however differed from others. The warden continued, “We never see father and sons around here. Hell, most of these guys have never even seen their own fathers before. This would almost be touching. The fact that they both are child molesters lets us feel no guilt for letting the other prisoners loose on them.”
Warden Mathers hopes that this event will help boost prisoner morale by allowing them to take out their repressed abandonment issues on the father-son duo. Medical staff has been alerted and are set to turn a blind eye to the Sanduskys over the next few days.