Longing For the Truth
WASHINGTON, D.C.—As it turns out, America may not have to deal with a Trump presidency for much longer. According to the Make-A-Wish Foundation, Donald Trump’s role as current Commander-in-Chief is actually just a project by the foundation.
Make-A-Wish Foundation was reportedly so pleased with the results of the Batkid wish, which granted a young boy in San Francisco his wish to fight villains as Batman, they decided to go for an even bigger project. The idea to allow Donald Trump to act as the President was the perfect new venture.
However, reporters hear that the organization is now growing to regret their decision to grant Trump’s final wish.
“First of all, he doesn’t even know that he is part of a Make-A-Wish project. All of us, Melania included, decided it would be best to not tell Trump. That way, everything would feel more authentic. But he is the most ungrateful person we have ever had to deal with.
According to Make-A-Wish, Melania Trump reached out to the foundation about two years ago, informing them that Donald had been diagnosed with testicular torsion, a condition which causes the testes to painfully twist and, if left untreated, can lead to the loss of the testicles. After much discussion and reading of tweets, everyone involved realized that the one thing he wanted more than anything was to be President of the United States.
“All we had to do with Batkid was put him in a costume for 24 hours and he was done!” said a social worker assigned to Trump’s case.
According to MAW Chairman John Crowley, they let the farce go on for so long simply because, “[they] genuinely didn’t believe Trump would do anything in his time in office”.
However, now that Trump has tried to enact multiple executive orders including the banning Muslims and other immigrants, Crowley has admitted that the venture has gone just a bit too far.
“Now all he does is walk around the White House screaming that America is a big disaster and that he will be the country’s savior,” confirmed multiple members of the MAW board.
Government officials are also apparently not impressed with “President” Trump any longer.
“We were just gonna wait until he got bored and left, but I guess we’ll have to break the news to him sooner. Apparently he wasn’t even aware of his condition. Melania told him that he had to have his testicles removed so that they could be gold-plated and displayed at the Smithsonian,” said Speaker Paul Ryan.
“Really, I just want to quit hearing his whining about Mexicans and just get back to Indiana,” said “Vice President” Mike Pence. “I also want to get as far away from Steve Bannon as possible. He is just the worst. Every day he asks me to pull his finger and the results are horrifying. Someone please save me,” plead Pence.
Make-A-Wish Foundation has recently revealed that they will break the news to Trump about his “presidency” later this week, before he is set to attend the supposed unveiling of his gold-plated testicles.
Melania would like to extend her gratitude towards the foundation as well as America as a whole for tolerating and entertaining Trump in his wish of being the President of the United States.