Sioux Native Americans Just Glad to be Back In the News

BY Walter Cronkite
Living Person

STANDING ROCK, ND—The Dakota Access Pipeline protest has been a source of contention for months as Sioux natives fight against corporations to preserve their land. It’s been a long struggle for the Sioux people, who continue to lose land that’s rightfully theirs, but, according to community leaders, at least they’re back in the news.

“For some reason, a lot of white people are following this story,” said Chief KeepsGetting FuckedOver. “I know we’ll probably lose our land again, but hey, at least we’re back in the news.”

The pipeline is supposed to go through reservation land in large parts of the Dakotas and will destroy people’s homes. The pipeline was originally planned to go through white people’s homes, but they complained enough and pawned off their problem to a non-white group, a common theme in American history.

TIME TO GET BACK AT IT Protesters at standing rock to resume protesting now that the media is watching again

“I can’t be mad,” said FuckedOver. “I mean, it’s been like this since 1492. At least we have a bunch of Bernie Bros who are really loud and pretend to care. If only they actually did something and realize we’re suffering a lot more than this. I mean, look at our reservations. We live in squalor and people don’t give a shit about that. But, ya know, fuck it apparently.”

Many young Americans have been vocal about this issue and adopted it as their own, bringing it to the public’s attention. However, not many people have taken real action in support of the local community, and only changed their location on Facebook in pseudo-solidarity of the cause.

“They say they were at Standing Rock, but then they go buy gas at Sunoco and forget about the real issues,” said FuckedOver. “Freakin’ white people. Can’t live with them, can’t live without them. Actually, you can live without them, but it’s too late now. At least they know we exist again.”

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