Rutgers “Totally Fine” With Throwing It’s Own Birthday Party

BY Grind All
Explora Reporta

NEW BRUNSWICK-Rutgers finally decided to celebrate it’s 250th birthday last week by throwing its own party. The university declared it was “totally fine” with throwing its own birthday party.

“Yeah I mean it’s not like I was dropping hints for a whole year or anything,” said the university in a statement to the press last Tuesday. “It’s fine, I guess some schools like Penn State just have better things to do! Whatever!”

WHATEVER, ITS FINE! Rutgers definitely doesn’t mind that it has to throw it’s own party.

The past year has shown Rutgers desperate attempts to get anyone to acknowledge the 250th celebration on November 9th. If you visit the university you cannot turn a corner without seeing the words “250,” “historic,” and “the birthplace.”

“I mean it’s totally fine! TCNJ just wasn’t up for the planning. I’m totally not going to hold a grudge against them or anything,” continued the university before encouraging students to change the classic “Fuck Penn State” chant to “Fuck Penn State and TCNJ.”

When asked about this the university said, “I just I think it’s fair for other schools to know what kind of friendships they’re signing up for.”

There has been no word from the other schools of New Jersey and Pennsylvania on why they ignored the Rutgers birthday. Sources close to the other universities have said the schools didn’t even realize when the birthday was since there was a 365 day non-stop celebration.

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