BY Mike Hawk
Most Likely to smile
PISCATAWAY—This past week on ESPN, the NCAA released the recent rankings of all college football teams. This was an extensive, well thought out list that was concluded by polls that took into the account of all coaches as well as some analysts.
Our analysts here at The Medium took a look at the list and our very own Scarlet Knights are ranked at 129th place. That is directly below the famed Trump University. We have reached out to a spokesperson for Trump University asking how they managed to gain a spot on the NCAA rankings for football teams when they do not possess one.
“We here at Trump University expect nothing but the best from our staff. We will be the best non football having team this country has ever seen. No other college will be better at not having a football team than us, no one; I can promise you that.”
Although the university spokesperson did not answer our question, it was clear that he was very passionate about being the greatest non-team having sports team this great nation has ever seen. Trump University will do everything in its power to make college football great again. We should do our part as the Scarlet Knights to help as well as chant “Lock up Penn State” this Saturday.