I Really Want to Fuck My Pet Pig

BY Sasha Romainepigger.png

I’ve been thinking about fucking my pet pig. His name is Umberto, and he’s my best friend. But let me take a step back.

I’ve had Umberto since I was 14, and now 22. I just recently got married last year and my husband is overseas. Not in the military, he’s a traveling salesman; he sells pillowcases.

So I spend most of the year alone, with no one to really comfort me. Except Umberto. And the thing is, Umberto is old. Pigs only live to be 8 years old, and my Umbie is 7, so I don’t have much time with him. We have such a close bond already, I want it to become even more unbreakable, and what bonds two souls more than sex?

I know what I’m saying is unconventional, but it’s not my fault. No one has ever cared for me or loved me the way Umberto has; he’s been there for me when I’m sad, and cuddles with me when I’m cold. My own husband doesn’t even do that! So of course I have to turn to my pet pig for solace.

I have the perfect spot, too. My backyard. It gets really muddy when it rains, so it’s the perfect, warm spot. I should probably go get ready, actually. It’s supposed to rain all day tomorrow.

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