Things You Can Shove up Your Anus


1. My baby brother

2. Cucumbers (*make sure they have that gross wax coating*)

3. Four Beatles albums (*vinyls*)

4. My girlfriend’s hair while she sleeps (SORRY JENNA)

5. The Targum

6. Barchi’s bald head

7. A hollow tube of bumblebees

8. Dan

9. The Rutgers’ football team’s hopes and dreams

10. A glowstick

11. Mexican chile candies

12. Donald Trump’s hands

13. Ken Bone’s sweater (**must be rolled into a ball**)

14. Corona (a la butt chug)

15. A handful of legos

16. The Rutgers Housing Dept. (so that they can fuck you in the ass one last time!)

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