Rutgers Football Isn’t Doing So Great This Year

BY Jim Bamfordjimbamford.png

Now let me tell you folks, I’ve gone to all but two Rutgers football games since I graduated back in ‘81, and those were when my daughter got married, and when she needed bail money. But, and I hate to be the bearer of bad news; I don’t think the Rutgers team is doing too hot this year. Honestly, I’m not sure they’ll even make it to the championships.

Now, Rutgers has really given it all this past weekend, but sometimes that just isn’t enough. They did only lose by 17 points, but their track record this season isn’t too hot. Right now they’re 2-5, the same as my daughter’s child to abortion ratio. But next week we’ll be playing Minnesota, and I feel like the boys have a real shot at another W. My daughter once ran away to Minnesota for a few months. She wanted to move to Detroit to marry Eminem. She’s not the brightest star in the sky, but she’s still my little arsonist.

It’s really a bummer about this year’s team. I was super excited to bring my daughter to the championship game. I haven’t seen her in almost two years now. I’ve tried calling her, but she stopped picking up when I stopped funding her coke addiction. I was really hoping for an improvement with Chris Laviano, but maybe he just hasn’t hit his stride yet. I’m still holding out faith for our team, just like my daughter. One day, they’ll prove everyone wrong.

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