Donald Trump Still in the Fucking News

BY Mister Señor Love Daddy
Depressed

NEW YORK—Recent reports have confirmed the Republican nominee for President of the United States, Donald Trump, is somehow still in the fucking news. After the most recent arbitrary thing Trump has done, various news outlets are having a field day ripping him apart. As inconceivable as it is that one person could consistently dominate headlines every day for an entire year, Trump is still doing it.

trumpclassic
WOW, ANOTHER FUCKING HEADLINE Donald Trump does a thing which inevitably pisses off human beings

Jonathan McBride, a local voter, expresses is frustration with the news. “I turn on CNN, FOX, NBC, doesn’t matter. It’s just him. There isn’t anything else on my TV anymore. I used to turn on the news to see what’s going on in the world, and now I don’t even bother. I can’t believe how long they’re drawing this shit out.”

McBride, like many American voters, is fed up with the current state of reporting. The most baffling part of all of this is that every arbitrary thing Trump does actually is more ridiculous than the last.

The public is anxiously awaiting the day when our news stations will report on the things we care about. McBride asks, Why can’t we just turn on the news and see some Syrian city being leveled by drone strikes, like in the good old days? I just want it to go back to the way it was before.”

McBride, like most of the public, hopes the news will return to normal after the election on November 8th.

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