Pat Hobbs Leaves Football Game Early To Go Crush Pussy

BY Radio Raheem
Died Recently

PISCATAWAY–Rutgers’ new athletic director, Pat Hobbs, found himself in a swarm of swooning young college women this Sunday at the game against Iowa. After a brief media crucifixion, Hobbs’ popularity with Rutgers students, especially the ladies, is soaring.

patthobbs
SETTING THE TONE FOR THE UNIVERSITY New athletic director Pat Hobbs’ actions embodies the Rutgers spirit, and his presence has inspired students to follow his lead.

Hobbs has come under fire recently for drinking a beer at The Alley, a tailgating area for students who are over 21. Hobbs was forced to issue an apology after the game, stating that he shouldn’t have drank the beer and he regretted his actions. Drinking the beer has solidified Hobbs’ place as one of Rutgers University’s all time greats, and Rutgers has continued its long tradition of ruining everything that is good by shutting down The Alley.

This week’s football game against Iowa is the first since The Alley was shut down, and the turnout in the student section was noticeably smaller. Hobbs spent the first half of the game walking around the stadium greeting and taking pictures with fans, and then started to become bored just after halftime. Luckily for Hobbs, the boredom didn’t last long. Hobbs was reportedly seen leaving the stadium midway through the third quarter with a smoking hot blonde under each arm.

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