10 Practical Uses for Semen

BY Us, the Horny Members of the Medium

1. Saving your spot on the bus.

2. Glue for your child’s fourth grade macaroni art.

3. Coffee creamer, lezz be real, the dining halls are alllllways out.

4. Bug repellant (lets be Zika conscious, yall!). Just make sure to coat your entire body thoroughly. Cum to think of it, same logic works for sunscreen!

5. Throat lotion (cum on, its cold season).

6. Also toothpaste.

7. As a means of finding your way home when lost (trail of bread cums).

8. Mio substitute (**ONLY IF YOU EAT PINEAPPLE

9. Anal lube (you probably already do this, so it’s not all that innovative).

10. Impregnating your wife to make beautiful children.

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