Livingston Campus Takes In Starving Refugees From Cook/Douglass

BY Grind All

PISCATAWAY—Last week the residents of the Cook/Douglass campuses had to be relocated due to power outages. This morning, some students had to be evacuated due to a suspicious package. The cause of the power outages as well as the exact contents of the suspicious package is still unknown, but has left many Cook/Douglass residents wondering whether their campus is safe for inhabiting. Upon hearing these concerns officials are starting to ask the other Rutgers campuses to take in the Cook/Douglass refugees. After a formal plea from President Barchi to accept the refugees, students of other campuses had mixed responses.

“No fucking way man,” said Brad Manson of College Ave. “Those smelly fucking hippies better stay away from our land!”

Other students seemed to share this sentiment, as a group of Greek life organizations formed a human chain outside of Brower attempting to “protect what’s theirs.”cookrefuge

Over on Busch there seemed to be a more confused response. “Wait, people want to come here? People are asking to live here?!” said Senior Jack Chin who has lived on Busch all four years and has always gotten a “Why do you live there?” look when disclosing his residency. A second response from Busch seemed to be an all-out denial of the situation. The campus refused to acknowledge there was even a refugee situation and insisted they were “too busy with construction.”

Livingston, on the other hand, seems to be the most likely campus as they are still in talks of accepting the refugees.

“I’d like to think of us as Canada in all of this!” said freshman Katy Higgins showing she has no idea how anything works, while other Livingston residents have cited the overcrowded buses as a reason to not let any more bodies on to the campus.
It is still unclear where these students will end up, but President Barchi has applauded the Cook/Douglass residents’ resilience during this time, and asks that all Rutgers students remain patient.

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