Badminton Players Fuck Each Other in the Ass With Rackets

BY Sue DeNimm
Obscure Sports Reporter

PISCATAWAY—Things got out of control Wednesday during the Thomas Cup tournament when the players of the Denmark vs. England match suddenly arranged in a circle, bent over, and shoved their rackets up the anal cavity of the player to their left.

It was toward the end of the second game of the match when the incident occurred, according to sources.

“The game was going fine, until they all just started fucking in the middle of a volley”, said court referee Matthew Wilson.

The players all seemed to be focused on the game, until the Denmark server Joachim

Fischer Nielsen yelled “IN POSITION!”, signaling all the players for the back-end racket shuttlecock clusterfuck.

Audience members were left stunned, and parents quickly jumped to cover their children’s eyes so as to not subject them to the optimized view of the exposed buttocks.

Refs scrambled to try to pry the rackets out of the players’ anuses, but to no avail.

The buff, well-toned athletes outmuscled the refs and were completely unphased by their attempts to stop the robot-like fuckery, coldly persisting in their coordinated, smooth, back-and-forth shoving motions.

The ass blasting eventually stopped after 15 minutes when the players simultaneously returned to their team positions, using the bloody rackets to hit the shuttlecock during the same volley.

Half of the audience was gone by the time the players started up again, leaving approximately 6 people watching the rest of the game.

“It wasn’t the craziest Badminton game I’ve ever seen,” said long time fan Ernie Johnson.

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