A True American Hero

BY Mike Boyers
No Longer Crying

billmoherLast Wednesday, many Rutgers seniors were outraged by the announcement of this year’s commencement speaker, Bill Moyers. However, before giving into uneducated judgement, we should take a moment to learn about a true American hero, former press secretary, and loud corporate-media critic Bill Moyers.

Born Billy Don Moyers in the small town of Hugo, Oklahoma, Bill Moyers’ humble beginnings would not prevent this man from achieving the American dream and continuing to fight for the righteous values of this country. At the tender age of 16, Moyers began his career in journalism by working for Marshall News Messenger and studied Journalism at North Texas State College, already pushing himself fast past his peers. Moyers even proved himself a resourceful intern to former President Lyndon B. Johnson while LBJ served as senator for Texas. Clearly, the man can connect with us, he knows what it’s like to have to bust your ass every summer in order to beef up your resume so that maybe a company will look past not having “3 years of experience” for an entry-level job. However, he was not content with just working under LBJ. Instead, Moyers continued to move up, working at radio and television stations after graduation, and then studying at the University of Edinburgh. Like, the University of Edinburgh in Scotland. Drinking partner-soon-to-be with some scotch? You know it. After attending dages and ragers, he eventually served under John “Fuck every pretty chick possible” Kennedy. Yeah that JFK.

Well under JFK, Moyers became the FIRST associate director of the goddamn Peace Corps, of which nothing existing is more heroic or courageous. Unfortunately, all good things come to an end however and JFK got his mind blown out by the hottest blowjob of the 60s, which led to the LBJ taking office. Though distraught from the loss of former president, Moyers was determined in his service to the American government and became a special assistant to LBJ, and is in fact the only surviving identifiable member of Johnshon’s inauguration. The dude literally will not die, just more proof of his badassery.

In the service of LBJ once more, Moyers helped draft the Great Society legislations and then ended up becoming the press secretary for the White House. Now some of you might have found out that there is some FBI background check smearing going around during Moyers’ time with the administration, but let me remind you, it was the 60s. Unless you were a drug-crazed hippy, you were also a homophobe. And I bet you even today, if Obama asked you to do the same thing, your prissy ass would do the same fucking thing so quit your bitching, the man is a goddamn hero. Heck, he’s even transparent about it with this quote about his time under LBJ: “I work for him despite his faults and he lets me work for him despite my deficiencies.”

Not only does he understand and admit that some things are wrong with the government, he also has the courage to own up to his weaknesses instead of trying to hide them all up like most of today’s deceitful politicians. And his career did not end with the Johnson administration. During the 1970s, Moyers continued to serve the American public by getting back into media where he was employed by many stations such as PBS, CBS News, and NBC news. He also produced a laundry list of documents on the infringement by the government which had stepped beyond its Constitutional boundaries. Yeah, he literally went renegade against the people he used to work for and called them out. If that doesn’t sell it on how much of a defender of American rights he is, then I have no idea what will.

He also called out the very industry he chose to work in after his time with the government, speaking out against the corruption within corporate-owned media and explaining to the American people the propaganda they had been fed and the tragedies that come with it. No matter what Bill Moyers fought against, the former press secretary would not give and continued to uphold true American values. And now, the Rutgers Class of 2016 has the honor of enjoying an afternoon with him. Though we may be disappointed by the fact it had not been the extremely and unfortunately hyped up speaker we were promised for the past four years, we will truly benefit from this American icon.

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