BY Jackie Daddio
Mid-afternoon on a recent Sunday, I decided to plan a date for everyone I had matched with on Tinder. It just so happens that I had around 1800 matches from right swiping every profile I came across. I decided to set up an event on Facebook and to make it public so others could come and see what it was all about. I planned for it to be a picnic in Buccleuch Park and I started inviting people on Facebook and Tinder. Most of the responses were positive. However, among those obliging to the picnic request were some people who were very unhappy with my invitation.
I was called a “garbage person” by a 30 year old whiskey-loving writer who made a suspicious amount of grammar mistakes considering writing is his career. Another match called me a “cunt” immediately after inviting them to the picnic. I was told I was having the event “only to gratify my self-worth and to feed my ego.”
I answered their messages with an invitation to something that no one is forcing them to attend or to even acknowledge. These men called me weird and crazy, and said I was doing it for attention. I am doing it for attention. I’m trying to point out that men think women owe them sex for the smallest gestures they make. If these guys I matched with can offer me dick pics multiple times, solicit me for blowjobs, call me a cunt, call me a whore for not answering, and say unprovoked, inappropriate, violent, and blatantly sexual things, then I’m allowed to post anything I want regarding what is sent to me.
I’ve been consistently posting updates regarding how my matches have reacted to the event and some of my male friends on Facebook were deeply bothered by how offensive it was for me to post what these men had said on Tinder. That is the problem I’m trying to highlight. I was being offensive for posting their messages, but my matches weren’t in the wrong for what they had said to me.
I’m more than happy to see what people have to say and so I don’t mind the comments I get on my posts in the event. The problem I do have is with people trying to guilt me for calling these men out. My matches feel that girls should have sex with them because they once held a door open or called a girl pretty.
I’m sickened by how people I knew before Tinder reacted mostly because I was being verbally assaulted by men I didn’t even know and it was implied I was doing it all for attention. I want people to see what I’m doing because it is disgusting how men just assume women owe them sexual favors because for acting like decent human beings. There’s something wrong when a woman is called a stupid slut because she decides not to respond to a man asking for nude photos of her on the internet.
The reactions from some men regarding my event made it very clear to me that my generation has a big problem with violence towards women who exercise their right to say no. About a month ago when pro-rape meet-ups were planned, people my age were all for the protection of women. However now that I was being verbally attacked, I did not garner any support because I deserved what was being said to me.
All I have left to say is, if meninist groups can publicly advocate rape, I can throw a fucking picnic.