Hilarious Under the Influence Story

BY ANIMAL

College is for many things. One of the most important things is… you guessed it partying! Since we spend the majority of our time partying we all have some pretty funny stories about the shananigans we get into so I figured we’d start a column to tell the funniest stories. I’ll get the ball rolling with my own personal one.

Set the scene: dage season 2015, beautiful day, Saturday, and too many parties. So I was supposed to be going to an around the world tournament and dressed up as a specific country. My friends and I decided to be a mermaid country half because we’re basic bitches and half because it’s an excuse to wear bikini’s (see basic bitches).

I was wearing my friends push up sequined bra that was about 2 cup sizes too small for me so my boobs were OUT. I don’t normally wear low cut anything because it makes me insecure so I felt SUPER insecure and figured the only way to cure it was to drink into oblivion.

So we get to our first dage and there’s beer, dogs, and a small bouncy tent that is just asking for a law suit. A boy I liked was there and I was freaking out so I drank a ton.
Fast forward we left and I ended up at another dage. Now this is where it got bad. I’m not exactly sure how it happened, it was a combination of shots, funnels, and drinking games but I was plastered. The party got busted and as I was stumbling to leave a dude approached me and my friend and asked us to make out for his video. And yes drunk me did it so shout out to the guy who has that??

We left and I somehow ended up at another dage and was just kissing anyone who would give me a shot. My friend finally pulled me away and called for back up. The walk home I became a toddler and refused to walk unless someone held my hand while someone else walked in front of me and fed me crackers for every step I took. Cut to me running into the boy I liked while this was happening and trying (I think? I was blacked) to say hello to him before my friends kept me moving.

I spent the next couple hours in the care of my roommate who had to deal with me throwing up in our dorms hallway and then refusing to go to the bathroom so I just continued to throw up into bags in a hallway where 30 other people lived.
Mind you, this was all before 5 pm.

So that’s one of my embarassing crazy drunk story. WHAT’S ONE OF YOURS??? Seriously send in some of that shit to themedium.features@gmail.com. You don’t have to put your name on it so no one will know what a mess you are besides me and all the people who saw you ;).

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