ALL LIVES MATTER

BY God

sundog-alaska-110601
It’s A Sundog. Bitch.

Before we delve into specifics, I love all of my children and everyone is created equal. Even the thief and the murderer can regain my favor by accepting my salvation on their deathbed. According to my gospel, the Good Book, the true words of God the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Spirit, all lives matter.

That being said, you’re all a bunch of fucking racists. I created everyone to be the same. You’re all red on the inside. Guess what? When you say that only white people can be racists because of privilege, you’re being a bigot yourself! That’s like saying only Muslims can be terrorists. What about Timothy McVeigh? He was white, and guess what, he’s in hell damn it. What kind of privilege is that? Muslims are fine people, fine people who are simply going through a cultural identity crisis. It’s violent, but it’s not your business to jump down their throats. In a long term sense, Islam is just being a teenager. And by the way, most of y’all don’t give a shit about the Jews. Give it a rest with them already, they’ve been putting up with with everyone’s harassment for, like, 3000 years. And to their credit, they’re taking it like champs. When they left Egypt, did they carve #HebrewLivesMatter into every stone and tree? No. They rebuilt on their own. Black lives matter, but they matter just as much as every other life.

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