THE GIFT THAT KEEPS ON GIVING

An A7 Original

Picture coming soon, I’m in the lab and don’t want to look up giant pictures of herpes. 

It’s that time of year, and all of you students are dreading it. None of you have any money; how are you supposed to buy gifts for family and friends? Fear not, for there is herpes! It is mostly free and easy to give to your loved ones. First find some slut lonely during the holidays and fuck that person raw (alternatively you could find a cheap hooker, but going raw-dog would cost extra). The next part is easy: share the love! Go fuck all of your friends—no condom—and spread your gift. It will stay with them for life! You can share it with family, too. We all know you can fuck your second cousins and step-relatives no problem, but you can also share your gift with those closer. Give grandma a nice, big, wet kiss on the cheek when you see her. Spit in your brother’s face while to two are acting like kids again and horsing around. Sneakily rub the serving spoon all over your dirty, disgusting, herpes-laden vagina when your aunt asks you to pass the salad. Your friends and family will cherish this gift forever and always. You’ll never have to buy another present again, because herpes never goes away. Ever.

 

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