Rutgers to be Represented by New Mascot in 2016

BY The Hen Hen Man

Sandhill_bare_areasPiscataway, NJ— President Robert L. Barchi has announced on Tuesday that he has accepted a proposal submitted by RUSA’s athletic committee to change Rutgers’ longtime mascot from the Scarlet Knight to the Construction Crane.
“After a lengthy conversation with Athletic Director Julie Hermann, I have decided to make a change,” said Barchi in a released statement, adding that the new mascot will take over and debut on January 1st, 2016. “I feel that the bird, Construction Crane, better suits our vision of broken promises and never-ending on-campus construction as we move on to our 250th Anniversary.”

Retiring the Scarlet Knight that has been a traditional part of Rutgers Athletics since the early 20th century is heartbreaking for alumni, but the student body seems to agree that it is time to move on. RUSA’s “What’s on your mind?” survey revealed that more than 91% of the student body supports the change because they feel that the Construction Crane can better represent Rutgers and its porous campus in the Big Ten Conference and that the ancient, medieval Scarlet Knight is too irrelevant for a school better known for traffic jams and loud construction than anything else.

A press conference for the Construction Crane is scheduled on next Wednesday night at 8:00 pm in room 116 in Busch Student Center. In the meantime, the Scarlet Knight cannot be reached for comments.

Real Ad: Join our friends: The Latin American Student Organization tonight!
Real Ad: Join our friends: The Latin American Student Organization tonight!

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