Barchi Administration Under Fire in Gate-Gate Scandal

BY Sawyer
Clue Editor

gategateNEW BRUNSWICK— Members of the Barchi administration have been accused in claims that they funneled funds from the restoration of the Gates around Queen’s College campus to balance the ledgers on multiple over-budget Devco construction projects on campus.

The Gate from the Class of 1902 is best known by students as the metal arch with a lamp seen on brochures. What many do not realize is that the photograph over-used by the admissions department was taken thirty years ago and that the Gate has become “totally shit-rotten inside right now.”

The Board of Governors approved a motion three years ago to restore the historic landmark, but higher-profile projects have taken priority. Re-appropriation of funds initially assigned to the Gate’s restoration have left the project bankrupt.

Allegations on the transfer of funds were denied by the Barchi administration after an anonymous whistleblower, Justin Falks, released classified document to the press. These documents also detailed the administration’s perceived urgency in buying new flags to put around campus. Transcripts from recorded conversations detail:

“Now that construction is back in black, let’s get some flags with the University’s new seal. And some special flags for our sestercentennial anniversary! They’ll be white with the number two-hundred-fifty and they’ll be relevant forever!”

An internal investigation on President Barchi and his administration was organized by an university sub-committee. The sub-committee has already spent $440,000 to investigate the president’s emails, post, and glove box for additional evidence of foul play concerning the Old Queens Gate.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s